Trouble Sleeping.

Wow, insomnia's a bitch, don't you think?

I don't know if it's depression or just a really messed up sleeping pattern, but I just cannot sleep lately. Well I say lately, but it's been with me off and on for years. And getting up in the morning when the alarm goes off is just so hard - much better to just close my eyes again for a few minutes...then suddenly it's four o' clock in the afternoon and I'm just about ready to start my day.

I haven't been going to work recently, thanks to this blessed situation. In fact, it's been about four weeks since I actually did a full day's work. It's got to the stage where I'm scared to go back because of the shit I'll be in. At least I assume I'll be in shit, although you'd think they'd have tried to phone or sent me a pissy letter or something. When I had two weeks off for legitimate purposes a couple of months ago, I got back and almost no-one had noticed I'd been off. The joy of being the new girl doing shift work, eh?

It's not just that though - the old trouble is back. Leaving the house has become an ordeal. I can just about manage it if I'm with someone, but I've been promising myself I'll nip into town by myself for the past...ooh, six days now, and I haven't actually managed to leave my room. What do you call that? Agrophobia? I don't think so, since I can do it if there are people with me, and they have no idea anything's wrong. It's just my nerves. I'd go to the doctor, but I'm too edgy. Oh the irony!

Right, Monday. On Monday I'm going back. Probably.