Mothers' Day

I'm feeling refreshed after a weekend at home - just me and my mum, and plenty of fresh air and...well, food that's not exactly good for you, but tasty nonetheless. It felt wonderful to be away from my tiny little room, which has become like a sort of prison these past few weeks.

And now I'm back, armed with St John's Wort and tons of fresh vegetables in an attempt to bring my mood up this week. I'm trying out everything before I have to traipse to the doctors for something more heavy duty.

I don't know why this all started. I lost a close relative recently, so it could be a hangover from that. I came off the Pill a couple of weeks ago, so that might be playing havoc with my hormones. I hate my job, that's definitely got something to do with it. And, although I'm getting on with the people I live with far better than ever before, I'm still lonely. It's pathetic, but I need a boyfriend to make me feel complete. That whole "you don't need a man to make you happy" and "learn to love yourself, then others will love you" song and dance? Bullshit. I've had plenty of time to love myself - two years and counting - and believe me, it's about time someone else came along to do it for me. I can't keep spending so much on batteries for one thing, I'll go bankrupt.

Plus, text sex with an ex is probably not the healthiest thing, but I have no choice. Until someone real comes along, that's all I've got to keep me going. The day he gets a new girlfriend is the day I begin my descent into repetitive strain injury.