So...

...I took ecstasy for the first time on Saturday night. Do people still call it ecstasy? Should I be saying MDMA or pills or something? I'm so old (23, that's old these days.) Anyway, I took it.

Some background: I have always been vehemently anti drugs. I came of age as the whole Leah-Betts-take-drugs-and-you-will-die campaign happened, and so I was always very wary. Plus my friends at school and uni never dabbled in anything, not even weed. The only drugs experience I've ever had was when I was about 20 and my boyfriend at the time made hash cakes (again, are they still called that?) I liked the feeling, it made me pretty giddy, but soon enough I just got sleepy and hungry, devoured 6 KitKats and went to bed. Which made me wonder: what was the point? There was no way I could do it before a night out, and on a night in I had alcohol to relax me. So that was my first and last dabble.

Until last Saturday. The girls I live with are complete druggies, but have never pressured me to do anything, not that I'd give in to pressure anyway. But this night, I just thought fuck it. If I don't do it now, while I'm young and with no responsibilities, I might never do it. Or I might end up doing it when I've got kids, trying to escape from my horribly suburban life, and that's not good for anyone. I'm sure social services would agree. So someone offered me a pill, and I took it.

And god almighty, was it good. I felt euphoria for the first time in my life. My limbs were light as air. I was smiling at everything and everyone, especially when we got to the club - I was grinning like a loon, but so was everyone else, so it didn't matter so much. The best thing about that atmosphere is that everyone's looking out for everyone else, so people were making sure I drank enough water, but not too much. I remember going around hugging the people I knew, and they were all kind of "aaww, first timer." I also became the best dancer in the world, or at least I didn't care who was watching. And I sweated a lot. Now may be the time to get rid of the mid-back-length hair I'm rocking.

So that was Saturday night. I spent the whole of Sunday in bed, trying to stop my jaw clenching. Monday was weird. It's now the early hours of Tuesday morning, and I still feel like I'm on something. I'm assuming this is normal. If it's not - fuck it, I feel good, who the hell cares?