We're going to the zoo...how about you?

I spent today at the zoo with a 4 year old, a 3 year old and a 2 year old.

Here's something I didn't know about kids before now: they like to run away from you. And if you chase them, they just run faster.

These kids were absolutely adorable though (they're my mum's best friend's step-grandchildren, I was roped in to lend an extra pair of hands on the trip) and despite the fact that none of them had ever laid eyes on me before, they were all perfectly willing to hold my hand and tell me about their favourite animals and listen to me when I shrieked "stop!!!!!" from five miles behind them as they were about to vault over the fence into the penguin enclosure. Not that penguins would do a lot of damage, but it's the principle of the thing.

It's a weird feeling when a kid launches themselves into your arms for a hug. At least it is for me, since I don't know any children and the last time I spent the day with a 4 year old was when I was 4 myself. These tiny little people are so trusting and so vulnerable and just make you feel so protective. I realised that to them, I'm an adult. I spend most of my time wondering when the grown-up gene is going to kick in and I'm going to stop feeling like an irresponsible 18 year old, and today gave me a lot to think about.

I read somewhere that alcoholics emotionally halt at the age at which they started really drinking. For me, that age was 18. Now, I'm not ready to link a to b just yet (that would mean actually confronting the issue, shock horror) but bells are ringing, know what I mean?

I'm fucking knackered though. Further proof that I couldn't have had that baby.